glow up
my eyes refuse to shed the memories
that made me smile
it wont let me roll them off of my cheeks
for it questions me
why would i choose to be so selfish?
why can't i tame my memories
let them rest in the room of my soul?
let it stay locked in
i am the master or it becomes the mast
that holds the reins of my many moods
the burn of the lashings
slashing the last drop of pride
i hold in my palms
slick with the oily lashings
across the body of your life
the marks like paths
unforgiving but bending
along the curves of my waist
wasted like the hot breath
that calloused my knee
i lock my eyes with my love
forlorn with despair
that shook my soul towards the north star
my snarky thoughts misaligned to the path
that wanted your favor
the scent and flavor of your words
that left your lips
tasted bitter but felt sweet
almost enticing
i usually like the bitter
because of the promise it holds within itself
that nothing worse than this
marks an end of the tunnel
it questions me more
does it not make you happy when you re-live them
when you're back in bed
with your back against nothing
but these memories to use
as a lullaby
the ship that carries you through choppy waters
when you visit the realm of realities every night
the promise to hold a prominent place in your eyes
my bland wistful errors became blatantly obvious
oblivious, i dared to look at them with a new daring vigour
like a challenge, like a whisper towards the unknown
where i lose myself and still feel at home
where my house would be the strange novelty of my misconceptions
falsifying, flashing, falling right in front of my eyes
every time i believe in something so fiercely
when the only thing familiar would be the ways
where i prove myself to be wrong
over and over and over
that will be my glow up
until its game over.